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Emmijoy
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Name: Emily
Birthday: 3/17/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Just hangin out with friends, writing music, playing guitar, and....the JIBBLEYS!!!!!!! ;-)
Expertise: good at..singing, guitar..oboe..hopefully i am just at a mind block right now, cuz maybe there are more things im good at :-/
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/27/2004
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| vulnerability = weakness. | | |
| Today is my Uncle Scott's birthday.
We went and ate lunch with him in Long Beach.
He began to tell me about how his late wife, Gigi, touched one particular student's life as a teacher. He was a rebel- defiant and angry about life. All of her fellow teachers told her not to even bother trying with him- that he was no good, a bad seed.
One day in class, this student drew a naked woman on his desk and wrote a very graphic poem on top of it- including details about my aunt.
She, of course, reprimanded him and made him clean off the desk. But instead of an office referral, she talked to him after class. She told him that, although what he did was wrong, it was obvious through his poem that he had talent. She had his poem published in a journal. His life turned around completely after she did that. All he needed was some love. To feel a sense of value and appreciation. He needed his soul to be watered.
After telling me this story, Scott immediately burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant. My heart sank into my stomach. My face grew hot, my limbs weak, and my mind perplexed. It was surreal. I never see my uncle cry. He proceeded to say, after his unexpected outburst, "I love that story... But it's a hard day to talk about her." She died on this day, his birthday, ten years ago."
It is moments like this that make me realize the value of life. Of love. Of what this is all about.
-Em. | | |
| Would really love to feel some semblance of happiness again. or at least contentedness.
All I have are momentary distractions that create the illusion of happiness.
I have this twisted idea that a road trip or a thermos of coffee.. or sleep will do something to fix it. I think.. "maybe these extra five or ten minutes of laying flat on my stomach with my eyes closed this morning will make my soul stop aching when i stand up to face the day."
My smiles are forced and ingenuine. My conversations are surface level and empty. My motions are lackadaisical.
2012, please make 2011 disappear. I'd like my smile back.
-Em. | | |
| Watched a documentary on water tonight that opened my eyes to a lot:
The keys to a pure and happy life = love and gratitude.
Also, new mantra:
"discontentment > complacency" | | |
| "love," in a romantic aspect, provides such a fleeting, false sense of happiness: a contentedness that is usually short lived. it's why i'm over relationships. music will be my boyfriend. or a puppy. | | |
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